Monday, September 21, 2009

Random thoughts on beauty

So, yesterday, while at my favorite Mexican dining establishment, our waiter told me I look like Megan Fox. I laughed at him. NO, that is an understatement; I guffawed at him. I didn't chuckle, didn't chortle, I actually guffawed! I choked out something that sounded like 'thank you', while at the same time advising him to get his vision closely checked. He skulked off, and my mother looked at me horrified. 'Laine' she said, 'that was rude. You shouldn't have laughed at him'. I said 'But mom, he told me I look like Megan Fox...MEGAN FOX. You know, the most beautiful woman in the world, EVER.' Mom says, 'Well, to him you do look like Megan Fox. You should respect that.' Ouch. Morality lessons from my mom at the ripe old age of 36. Mind you, I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, my hair was in a ponytail, and my makeup was at a minimum of eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss. But mom was right. Beauty is perceived differently by all of us. My truly gorgeous friend, Shannon Devine (and trust me, this one is TRULY GORGEOUS), and I were discussing this just a few days ago-that beauty is completely subjective, but that it is our job to respect every one's ideas and opinions of beauty. Due to early adolescent mind molding by my peers I've struggled with seeing myself as attractive at all, much less as anyone's idea of "beautiful". But there is one kind of beauty we can all agree on; inner beauty. That is what I really aspire to, because once my eyesight has failed and my jowls have dropped, that is what will remain. And there are times when I feel really beautiful; when my gorgeous hubby of 13 years looks at me first thing in the morning (while I'm sans makeup and messy haired) and says 'you are so beautiful', or when my mom says to me 'Laine, you are good people. I'm so proud of you'. Those are the things that count, and the things I'll remember when all the ephemeral compliments and all the hurts have passed. Knowing that the people who really know me, who know me in a bone deep, soul baring kind of way, think I'm beautiful is what really matters. Knowing that my husband thinks I have a beautiful soul, that my best friend of 20 years is still proud to know me, to know that my father is proud of who I've grown to be-those things make me feel beautiful.
I know many many physically beautiful people, but the ones I hope to know forever are the ones with really beautiful souls.


Kerry said...

I've always thought you were one of the most beautiful people I've ever known. And too much fun for your own good too. Love you my friend! I'm glad the muse is speaking to you.

Ginger@From The Cocoon said...

Very well stated! I do happen to think that you're beautiful on the outside...and inside...and it's deifinitely the inside that will matter in the end.