I love Valentines Day. It isn’t that Mr. Big prize has ever gone overboard with demonstrative shows of affection on said day; I just like the whole idea of it. I love that there is a day set aside where we, as a nation, celebrate romance. As a woman, I feel strongly that there should be several of these days every single year, and as a Southern Woman, I feel they all should include jewelry. Sadly, MBP does not understand the concept of jewelry. He doesn’t see the ‘point’; he thinks there is no ‘need’ for it. Well, I can assure you that basketball does not nourish his body but I guarantee his spirit needs it-that is how I feel about jewelry. I very nearly had a heart attack this Christmas when I opened not one, but TWO boxes containing sparklies from one Fletcher Smith Jewelers. Now, mind you, these were not boxes containing sparklies of the four/five figure variety, but I feel we are making progress. But again, I digress.
As a now two dog family we suddenly found ourselves with new and rather nerve wracking challenges with which to deal. While Blue had been a mess even from her earliest minutes there were certain doggy issues which with we’d never had to deal with her. She didn’t ‘get into’ things. If something wasn’t right out in the open for her to destroy it was relatively safe. While carpet, plants and window frames all shook with fear when she advanced on them, things like shoes and trash and underwear went unharmed. You have to actually expel some energy to get at those particular things, and as you may have deduced, Blue avoided expending energy whenever possible. But then came Inky. When not trying to exhaust herself playing ball, Inky was getting into things. As a tiny puppy she’d squeeze through a cracked closet door and nibble away with her tiny needle teeth. Almost immediately upon her entry into our family I lost dozens of pairs of beloved mules and sling-backs. But she was so cute…how could we really hold her responsible? And how can you spank a dog that is so tiny and black that you can’t tell the front from the back unless its’ tongue is sticking out? I mean, really? Can you sense that I have discipline issues with dogs under a certain weight?
And so, because of my seeming inability to discipline this tiny black dog, she continued to get into things well into her adulthood. But the problem with that really didn’t end with her canines. She turned into some kind of small black fuzzy doggy crack pusher. She’d pull things out, Blue would chew them. They made an incredible demolition team. They cooperatively got into and destroyed so many things that our home became permanently infused with ‘odor du bitter apple’. Are you familiar with Bitter Apple? Bitter Apple is a magic spray that supposedly is so offensive to animals that they turn away even from the tastiest morsel. Ha. Not Blue. She LOVED bitter apple. Adored it. If we sprayed it on something, she licked it…and licked it…and licked it. It was absurd. So that was not help whatsoever, and the destruction continued. Inky was like a tiny doggy-crack pusher, telling Blue “Here, try this, just once. Just one little lick of shoe. It won’t hurt. Give it a try.”, and Blue was hooked. So, our personal belongings suffered, greatly.
Our second Valentines Day rolled around, and promised to be much different from our first. I may have mentioned earlier that the first year of our marriage was less than sterling when it came to the condition of our bank account. It was sweet, and romantic, but relatively bare in the gift department. I wrote a fairy tale, starring MBP as Prince Charming, and I received a love letter complete with custom envelope and heart stamp. The second Valentines Day looked a bit brighter in the gifts department for both of us. Strangely, I don’t recall at all what I got for MBP, but I certainly remember what he got for me. Lingerie. It was glorious, feminine, frilly and completely impractical lingerie. I had never received lingerie as a gift before, unless you count the white granny briefs Santa always left in my stocking from childhood until I moved out of my parent’s home. And white granny briefs this was not-this was a fabulously romantic/sexy gift of the variety that a husband gives his wife. It was a lovely top/bottom set, that was only slightly ill-fitting and a fabulous deep blue. I adored it.
Then, the strangest thing happened; the bottom half of the set disappeared, before I’d even had a chance to wear it. I knew exactly where I’d left it in the closet, and it simply wasn’t there. I had put it in the laundry; because I have a strange aversion to wearing things that are that intimate that may have been handled by God knows who before it goes on my person. I know-I’m crazy. But, as I pulled the load of dark clothes from the dryer that I was certain contained my beautiful new lingerie I found only the top. I searched EVERYWHERE for the bottom, literally, and they were simply nowhere to be found. Not a scrap, not a thread, nothing. They had simply vanished, and I was heartbroken. MBP was devastated, but we won’t go into the reasons for that here.
I gave up hope of ever finding any clue as to what happened to my beautiful blue bottoms. One evening a week or so after their mysterious disappearance MBP and I were out on our back deck enjoying the sunset. We were leaning on the railing, looking over our back yard, when my eye caught a bright hint of blue in the grass below. When I looked down I saw the unthinkable; my beautiful lingerie bottoms were at the base of the deck, having obviously passed through the digestive system of one very large animal, and having been deposited as…SCAT. My gorgeous Valentines Day gift was now Blue scat! Upon closer inspection (and we are not going into detail on how that happened, but it included sticks and much stretching) we discovered that they were still in one solid piece. My undies had passed, whole, through the belly of the beast. Even Jonah would not have survived that journey-neither did the undies.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Fetch!~
How much more work could one little eight pound dog add to the workload? Gentle reader; let me warn you, never EVER hurdle this kind of challenge at the cosmos. She has a sense of humor, and she will bite you. The only two requirements I had of my new Pomeranian were that she be a soft fluffy bundle, and that she be a lap dog. In all my extensive reading and research on the breed I had learned two things which seemed fairly definitive 1) even PQP’s have a wonderful undercoat that makes them fluffy bundles of loveliness, and 2) Pomeranians were bred to be lap dogs, and therefore simply do not need a great deal of exercise. Once again, I was destined to be disappointed.
For the first year and a half of her life I defended her scraggly and under-coat free looks with ‘she hasn’t come into her adult coat yet’. After that time I simply embraced that she was bound to eternally look like she’d just come out of the river. In lieu of a short head and teddy bear face my Inky had huge ears, googly eyes, and legs as long as mine. We’d walk our two dogs side by side, and passersby would take one look at our magnificent Malamusky and say ‘that’s the most beautiful dog I’ve ever seen’. Then, they’d see Inky. It was almost as though they were afraid they’d injure her tiny doggie psyche if they didn’t extend a similar compliment to her, so they’d follow up with a weak ‘and she’s cute too’. She wasn’t, God bless her little heart.
And so much for all my dreams of snuggling for hours on end with my lap dog. I was the proud owner of the single Pomeranian on the planet with an absolute obsession for ‘play’. And play she did…and play and play and play and play. Inky developed an absolute obsession with her tennis ball. She’d work and work for hours to gnaw an edge of yellow skin off her ball, and carry it around by that shred of skin, begging to have it thrown again and again and again. Throwing the tennis ball became a constant activity for Mr. Big Prize and me. I ran the vacuum, and threw the ball; I cooked dinner and threw the ball; I put on my make-up and threw the ball. Basically, if MBP and I were at home we were throwing the ball for our non- lap-dog Pomeranian. It became second nature for both of us to simply continue to pick up and throw that ball for our obsessive compulsive non-lap-dog. She trained us well, that is certain.
And then, we all learned a valuable lesson on paying attention to your non-lap-dog. We live in the South, as you know, and as you may know, it is HOT in the South. And it isn’t that dry heat that people out West are always raving about. It’s a muggy wet miserable heat. Even cool days are hot in the South. MBP and I were out enjoying a cool-hot summer evening on our back deck (everyone has a deck in the South. It’s mandatory). We were visiting and laughing and watching little league baseball being played in the city park behind our home. And we were throwing the ball for Inky, naturally. Now, the thing that you need to know about our deck is that it was extremely elevated. Because of the lay of our lot, the backdoor of our home was about 20 feet off of ground level, and so our deck was elevated, with a set of stairs running down to the grass below. So, we’d throw the ball down those 20 steps or so, and Inky would fly down to retrieve the ball, and run back up. Over and over and over she ran, up and down the stairs, each time dropping her ball at our feet. After several minutes or so, MBP glanced over and said ‘Look at that stupid dog. She’s acting drunk’. Sure enough, there she stood reeling and wobbling, growling at us to throw it again. We laughed at her, and threw the -ball again…but as she trundled up the stairs we realized what was happening. Idiots. Our scraggly, mangy obsessive compulsive dog was just about to have a heat stroke. She was spinning like a true sot at this point, and stumbling like a college kid after his first bender.
In the absolute terror and panic that parents experience when their babies are ill, we scooped her up and ran her into the kitchen, where she was unceremoniously dumped into the kitchen sink and sprayed with ice cold water. We filled the sink with water, and dumped ice cubes in, and at the same time offered her ice water in a bowl to drink (I of course realize in hind-site that she could have just sipped from her bathwater, but I was panicked). The whole time that rotten little dog kept her eyes glued to that darn yellow ball, growling at it.
Within a few minutes she made a full recovery, and even got to sleep with mommy and daddy that night. However, those few minutes brought home two realities A) ball play had to be limited, and B) Our dogs had become our family. And isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?
For the first year and a half of her life I defended her scraggly and under-coat free looks with ‘she hasn’t come into her adult coat yet’. After that time I simply embraced that she was bound to eternally look like she’d just come out of the river. In lieu of a short head and teddy bear face my Inky had huge ears, googly eyes, and legs as long as mine. We’d walk our two dogs side by side, and passersby would take one look at our magnificent Malamusky and say ‘that’s the most beautiful dog I’ve ever seen’. Then, they’d see Inky. It was almost as though they were afraid they’d injure her tiny doggie psyche if they didn’t extend a similar compliment to her, so they’d follow up with a weak ‘and she’s cute too’. She wasn’t, God bless her little heart.
And so much for all my dreams of snuggling for hours on end with my lap dog. I was the proud owner of the single Pomeranian on the planet with an absolute obsession for ‘play’. And play she did…and play and play and play and play. Inky developed an absolute obsession with her tennis ball. She’d work and work for hours to gnaw an edge of yellow skin off her ball, and carry it around by that shred of skin, begging to have it thrown again and again and again. Throwing the tennis ball became a constant activity for Mr. Big Prize and me. I ran the vacuum, and threw the ball; I cooked dinner and threw the ball; I put on my make-up and threw the ball. Basically, if MBP and I were at home we were throwing the ball for our non- lap-dog Pomeranian. It became second nature for both of us to simply continue to pick up and throw that ball for our obsessive compulsive non-lap-dog. She trained us well, that is certain.
And then, we all learned a valuable lesson on paying attention to your non-lap-dog. We live in the South, as you know, and as you may know, it is HOT in the South. And it isn’t that dry heat that people out West are always raving about. It’s a muggy wet miserable heat. Even cool days are hot in the South. MBP and I were out enjoying a cool-hot summer evening on our back deck (everyone has a deck in the South. It’s mandatory). We were visiting and laughing and watching little league baseball being played in the city park behind our home. And we were throwing the ball for Inky, naturally. Now, the thing that you need to know about our deck is that it was extremely elevated. Because of the lay of our lot, the backdoor of our home was about 20 feet off of ground level, and so our deck was elevated, with a set of stairs running down to the grass below. So, we’d throw the ball down those 20 steps or so, and Inky would fly down to retrieve the ball, and run back up. Over and over and over she ran, up and down the stairs, each time dropping her ball at our feet. After several minutes or so, MBP glanced over and said ‘Look at that stupid dog. She’s acting drunk’. Sure enough, there she stood reeling and wobbling, growling at us to throw it again. We laughed at her, and threw the -ball again…but as she trundled up the stairs we realized what was happening. Idiots. Our scraggly, mangy obsessive compulsive dog was just about to have a heat stroke. She was spinning like a true sot at this point, and stumbling like a college kid after his first bender.
In the absolute terror and panic that parents experience when their babies are ill, we scooped her up and ran her into the kitchen, where she was unceremoniously dumped into the kitchen sink and sprayed with ice cold water. We filled the sink with water, and dumped ice cubes in, and at the same time offered her ice water in a bowl to drink (I of course realize in hind-site that she could have just sipped from her bathwater, but I was panicked). The whole time that rotten little dog kept her eyes glued to that darn yellow ball, growling at it.
Within a few minutes she made a full recovery, and even got to sleep with mommy and daddy that night. However, those few minutes brought home two realities A) ball play had to be limited, and B) Our dogs had become our family. And isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?
Monday, June 7, 2010
The Trouble with Tribbles
A solution, a solution, my kingdom for a solution. Actually, it wasn’t that hard to figure out a way to make sure Bludie never had to be alone again, and it also played well into another evil little plan I’d been hatching in my heart. I honestly don’t remember the very first time I saw a Pomeranian, but I know that it was around this time that I had started to believe I was simply incapable of functioning without one. Actually, I decided that I needed to name a dog after my paternal grandmother’s long deceased poodle, which I had idolized as a child. “Inky” had been my first buddy, and I decided there needed to be an “Inky, part two”. This would be an ongoing problem for me; deciding on the cutest little doggie name, then having to find a dog to go along with it. So, Inky part Deux would be a Pomeranian. And not just any Pomeranian-this is me we are talking about, after all. Once I started feeling that deep little itch that can only be scratched by the addition of another puppy to the brood I ran out and bought the ‘All You Need to Know about Owning a Pomeranian’ book. Upon reading I learned that ‘the magnificent Black Pomeranian is both rare and regal.’ I love rare, and I love regal, so this was the animal for me. And really, how hard could it really be to find a ‘rare and regal’ black Pom? Hard. Really, exceptionally, unbelievably hard, trust me. Ten years worth of searching kind of hard. At least it was going to end up being that hard to find a HIGH quality ‘rare and regal’ Black Pomeranian. You see, there are any number of ‘PQP’’s out there, otherwise known as ‘pet quality Pomeranians’. What there are not a great number of are the show quality poms that overflow the pages of publications like, oh I don’t know, “All You Need to Know about Owning a Pomeranian.”
Lucky lucky me; I found a breeder only and hour and a half from my home! And lucky lucky me, said breeder was more than willing to load her whole brood up and meet me half way between our homes so I could view and snuggle her little bundles of fluff and joy. So, on a much anticipated Saturday afternoon, Mr. Big Prize loaded me up and drove me down to meet the birth mother. I envisioned the meeting going something like this; The breeder would arrive in her high end SUV, and open her back hatch up, from whence dozens of little puff balls of bouncing fur would spill out, smelling of talc and vanilla, females designated by little pink bows, males by darling bow ties. I’d never be able to choose, as they bounced and romped and covered my face in kisses, vying for the chance to go home with this dream mommy and daddy. The reality was much, much different.
When we arrived shortly before the allotted meeting time, in the parking lot of a McDonalds (why didn’t I see the tell-tale warning signs?) and were flagged down by a bedraggled looking woman in a vehicle that I think, at one time, had been a station wagon. She opened her back gate, which was being held in place by some form of coat hanger, from what I could tell. The smell which greeted me was unreal, and bore no resemblance what-so-ever to either vanilla or talc. “I’m sorry”, she said “a couple of them got sick on the way over”. Oh yes they did, and they had done so all over each other. She opened the little carrier they were in, and out straggled several sticky, mucky and very, very stinky puppies. Instead of bouncing and romping they were drooling and reeling. Of course, I felt so sorry for them, and that was the kicker. It’s a miracle they didn’t all come home with me. I picked up the single black female, and tried to snuggle her close. She lifted her little head to mine, and looked at me with sad little black eyes which said ‘please don’t put be back in that smelly crate’. “They don’t look very fluffy”, I said. “Oh don’t worry”, she quipped confidently “they just haven’t come into their adult coats yet”. Made sense to me. I’d read about the puppy uglies in Poms, but apparently had missed the part about the fact that said uglies don’t start until about six months, not six weeks. “Where is the mother?” I asked. Having learned a very valuable lesson from becoming the unsuspecting owner of a Malamusky, I had specifically asked that she bring mom along for the ride. “Oh,” she said “she gets sick in the car, and I just didn’t feel like I could bring her along”. And then I made the mistake of looking down into that stinky black face again, and all I could think was ‘rare and regal’. The next thing I knew I was writing out a check and packing that stinky little puppy into her new pink crate, with her new pink blanket. What is it with me and the stinky puppies?
On the drive home both MBP and I realized something about which we had been apparently oblivious before. The Pomeranian puppy in this pink case was approximately ½ the size of Blue’s mouth. Should the mood strike her, Blue could off this little one in one bite, and be more than ready for her second course. In a panic we considered several courses of action, then decided that letting Blue get a good smell of her in the cage before we let them meet might be the best way to go. Of course I was scared sick. All I could think was that my new baby Inky had just had puppy kibble spewed all over her by one of her gangly siblings, so surely our now triple digit weighing mutt dog was automatically going to think we’d brought her a tasty treat home in some kind of odd take out box. I sweated and fretted and nearly cried the whole way home.
We finally arrived, far more aromatic than we’d left, and trotted inside with our new precious bundle. We decided keeping her in the crate, and keeping that crate at no more than arms length away was the way to go. So, we plopped that crate down onto that taupe covered brass and glass coffee table, and introduced Blue to her new sister.
Blue ambled over to the crate, and put that huge muzzle of hers right up to the door. From the other side we could barely see a tee-tiny black nose push its way through the metal mesh. Blue smelled and smelled and smelled and smelled. Then, she turned her head toward me and made the strangest sound I’d ever heard; “THWACK”. It was a sucking noise, like one might make if ones mouth were stuck together with peanut butter and one had to pry ones lips apart. She turned back to the cage, and back to me, and ‘thwacked’ again. Strangely, it seemed both a nervous and cautious sound, and with her second issuing thereof, sat herself down in front of that table and laid her head just inches from that mesh door. It was love at first sight if the truest form; best friends in an instant. MBP and I believed from then on that Blue was convinced she’d had a puppy of her own, only she didn’t quite remember it happening. But that’s how the two of them functioned from that day forth. There must be something to be said about coming from humble beginnings.
Lucky lucky me; I found a breeder only and hour and a half from my home! And lucky lucky me, said breeder was more than willing to load her whole brood up and meet me half way between our homes so I could view and snuggle her little bundles of fluff and joy. So, on a much anticipated Saturday afternoon, Mr. Big Prize loaded me up and drove me down to meet the birth mother. I envisioned the meeting going something like this; The breeder would arrive in her high end SUV, and open her back hatch up, from whence dozens of little puff balls of bouncing fur would spill out, smelling of talc and vanilla, females designated by little pink bows, males by darling bow ties. I’d never be able to choose, as they bounced and romped and covered my face in kisses, vying for the chance to go home with this dream mommy and daddy. The reality was much, much different.
When we arrived shortly before the allotted meeting time, in the parking lot of a McDonalds (why didn’t I see the tell-tale warning signs?) and were flagged down by a bedraggled looking woman in a vehicle that I think, at one time, had been a station wagon. She opened her back gate, which was being held in place by some form of coat hanger, from what I could tell. The smell which greeted me was unreal, and bore no resemblance what-so-ever to either vanilla or talc. “I’m sorry”, she said “a couple of them got sick on the way over”. Oh yes they did, and they had done so all over each other. She opened the little carrier they were in, and out straggled several sticky, mucky and very, very stinky puppies. Instead of bouncing and romping they were drooling and reeling. Of course, I felt so sorry for them, and that was the kicker. It’s a miracle they didn’t all come home with me. I picked up the single black female, and tried to snuggle her close. She lifted her little head to mine, and looked at me with sad little black eyes which said ‘please don’t put be back in that smelly crate’. “They don’t look very fluffy”, I said. “Oh don’t worry”, she quipped confidently “they just haven’t come into their adult coats yet”. Made sense to me. I’d read about the puppy uglies in Poms, but apparently had missed the part about the fact that said uglies don’t start until about six months, not six weeks. “Where is the mother?” I asked. Having learned a very valuable lesson from becoming the unsuspecting owner of a Malamusky, I had specifically asked that she bring mom along for the ride. “Oh,” she said “she gets sick in the car, and I just didn’t feel like I could bring her along”. And then I made the mistake of looking down into that stinky black face again, and all I could think was ‘rare and regal’. The next thing I knew I was writing out a check and packing that stinky little puppy into her new pink crate, with her new pink blanket. What is it with me and the stinky puppies?
On the drive home both MBP and I realized something about which we had been apparently oblivious before. The Pomeranian puppy in this pink case was approximately ½ the size of Blue’s mouth. Should the mood strike her, Blue could off this little one in one bite, and be more than ready for her second course. In a panic we considered several courses of action, then decided that letting Blue get a good smell of her in the cage before we let them meet might be the best way to go. Of course I was scared sick. All I could think was that my new baby Inky had just had puppy kibble spewed all over her by one of her gangly siblings, so surely our now triple digit weighing mutt dog was automatically going to think we’d brought her a tasty treat home in some kind of odd take out box. I sweated and fretted and nearly cried the whole way home.
We finally arrived, far more aromatic than we’d left, and trotted inside with our new precious bundle. We decided keeping her in the crate, and keeping that crate at no more than arms length away was the way to go. So, we plopped that crate down onto that taupe covered brass and glass coffee table, and introduced Blue to her new sister.
Blue ambled over to the crate, and put that huge muzzle of hers right up to the door. From the other side we could barely see a tee-tiny black nose push its way through the metal mesh. Blue smelled and smelled and smelled and smelled. Then, she turned her head toward me and made the strangest sound I’d ever heard; “THWACK”. It was a sucking noise, like one might make if ones mouth were stuck together with peanut butter and one had to pry ones lips apart. She turned back to the cage, and back to me, and ‘thwacked’ again. Strangely, it seemed both a nervous and cautious sound, and with her second issuing thereof, sat herself down in front of that table and laid her head just inches from that mesh door. It was love at first sight if the truest form; best friends in an instant. MBP and I believed from then on that Blue was convinced she’d had a puppy of her own, only she didn’t quite remember it happening. But that’s how the two of them functioned from that day forth. There must be something to be said about coming from humble beginnings.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Our house, was a very very very fine house
We have never been accused of being fast learners. After the ‘plantscepade’ of 1997 you’d think we would have realized that this dog HATED to be left alone for any length of time. But no, we convinced ourselves that it wasn’t anything more than an overworked prey drive that had caused the death of our glorious philodendron. SURELY she had brushed by the offending plant, causing its leaves to dip and sway threateningly, which then resulted in its destruction. No one to blame but the plant, and an errant breeze, right?
We’d read all those doggy self help books, and had been completely suckered into believing that our dog was indeed completely indisposed to human companionship, while totally ignoring the truth right in front of us. Blue had become my constant shadow. I was home the better part of every day, and no matter where she was, there I also happened to be. Vacuuming the living room required stepping over the dog, dishes were licked clean before they were loaded into the dishwasher, no matter where I was or what I was doing, Blue was there and doing it with me. She was a constant snuggle buddy on the couch, and a play buddy in the backyard. She pulled me around the neighborhood on my rollerblades, and protected me from over-friendly utility workmen. I’ll never forget how quickly they backed off our property when I murmured the words “she bites”-she didn’t, just for the record, but I’m fairly sure she was about to.
Mr. Big Prize may have continued to try to rustle up some Timmy/Lassie dream relationship with that fuzz-ball, but it was me who really understood her. She and I were remarkably the same; longing for companionship and understanding, but completely unwilling to let anyone see our vulnerability or neediness. I suppose that is why her eventual loss tore at me in ways that no other yet has, nor do I think, will. But, we aren’t to that part of the story yet.
We are still at the part of the story where we hadn’t quite become ‘of one mind’ with the beastie. She hadn’t fully trained us yet. One night, one crazy errant night, we left her alone again. We again decided that going out to dinner and a movie might be a great idea, and as you know, these are activities where bringing your dog along is generally frowned upon. So, Blue stayed at home-alone-again. It had been a few months since the plant episode, and there’d been no sign of trouble since, so what harm could she possibly come to? Ahhh, but what we didn’t think of was what trouble we could actually cause. We could go off and leave all the lights in the house off, and that, apparently, is right out.
We came home, and came in through the front door, for some reason I don’t remember. There sat Blue, doing her now familiar Bludie ‘speak’. Malamusky’s don’t bark-they speak. They let out a series of guttural grumbles and half howls that sound remarkably like articulate sentences. She was speaking and speaking and speaking, tossing her head from side to side. I swear she was lecturing us about coming in so late. It was dark, and all around her, scattered on the entry way tile, there was some sort of white grainy debris. What on earth was this? I leaned down to pick some of the none-to-insubstantial pile up to feel the texture. It was wood-and painted wood at that…lots and lots and lots of painted wood?!?! That was the moment MBP flicked on the entry way light, and then the living room light as well. That pile of wood chips was all that was left of each and every window frame in the whole of the entry way and living room. Five windows. She’d chewed them down to the drywall. We were eye to eye-that dog and I-on the floor, surrounded by her handiwork. She looked me deep in the eye, threw her head back, and said ‘I Love you’. I swear she did. She said it a lot. We never left her truly alone again.
We’d read all those doggy self help books, and had been completely suckered into believing that our dog was indeed completely indisposed to human companionship, while totally ignoring the truth right in front of us. Blue had become my constant shadow. I was home the better part of every day, and no matter where she was, there I also happened to be. Vacuuming the living room required stepping over the dog, dishes were licked clean before they were loaded into the dishwasher, no matter where I was or what I was doing, Blue was there and doing it with me. She was a constant snuggle buddy on the couch, and a play buddy in the backyard. She pulled me around the neighborhood on my rollerblades, and protected me from over-friendly utility workmen. I’ll never forget how quickly they backed off our property when I murmured the words “she bites”-she didn’t, just for the record, but I’m fairly sure she was about to.
Mr. Big Prize may have continued to try to rustle up some Timmy/Lassie dream relationship with that fuzz-ball, but it was me who really understood her. She and I were remarkably the same; longing for companionship and understanding, but completely unwilling to let anyone see our vulnerability or neediness. I suppose that is why her eventual loss tore at me in ways that no other yet has, nor do I think, will. But, we aren’t to that part of the story yet.
We are still at the part of the story where we hadn’t quite become ‘of one mind’ with the beastie. She hadn’t fully trained us yet. One night, one crazy errant night, we left her alone again. We again decided that going out to dinner and a movie might be a great idea, and as you know, these are activities where bringing your dog along is generally frowned upon. So, Blue stayed at home-alone-again. It had been a few months since the plant episode, and there’d been no sign of trouble since, so what harm could she possibly come to? Ahhh, but what we didn’t think of was what trouble we could actually cause. We could go off and leave all the lights in the house off, and that, apparently, is right out.
We came home, and came in through the front door, for some reason I don’t remember. There sat Blue, doing her now familiar Bludie ‘speak’. Malamusky’s don’t bark-they speak. They let out a series of guttural grumbles and half howls that sound remarkably like articulate sentences. She was speaking and speaking and speaking, tossing her head from side to side. I swear she was lecturing us about coming in so late. It was dark, and all around her, scattered on the entry way tile, there was some sort of white grainy debris. What on earth was this? I leaned down to pick some of the none-to-insubstantial pile up to feel the texture. It was wood-and painted wood at that…lots and lots and lots of painted wood?!?! That was the moment MBP flicked on the entry way light, and then the living room light as well. That pile of wood chips was all that was left of each and every window frame in the whole of the entry way and living room. Five windows. She’d chewed them down to the drywall. We were eye to eye-that dog and I-on the floor, surrounded by her handiwork. She looked me deep in the eye, threw her head back, and said ‘I Love you’. I swear she did. She said it a lot. We never left her truly alone again.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Out, out, darned spot!
It’s hard to imagine the damage that a 105 pound dog can do to one little innocent and unsuspecting house. As far as I know, that house never did anything to that dog to deserve the treatment it received from her. Of course, for all I know the minute we walked out the door the house starting taunting the dog about being a mutt, or a fatso, or some such thing. If that was the case then all bets are off, but honestly I just can’t see it happening. It was a sweet little house.
One thing that my fount of knowledge book forgot to mention was that Husky’s do not like to be left alone. Perhaps that is because it isn’t truly a breed trait, but rather singular to our own dog. Or perhaps it’s a Malamusky trait, and therefore lacking in the breed about which the book was actually written. Whatever the case, our Bludie hated being left alone, and she wasn’t shy at all about letting us (and that sweet little house) know about it.
It started out innocently, really. When we built that sweet little house we were young, and naturally, relatively poor. Isn’t that just a natural condition of being young? When we starting building our little dream house there were any number of things we wanted included, ideally. Sadly, all those little ‘ideal’ details came at a price-apparently $500 each. After one or two additions of $500 we simply ran out of budget room for ‘ideal’ elements. So, we sacrificed the tile for formica and linoleum, and got the front yard covered in sod in lieu of the back. We also had to forgo the fence to enclose the backyard, to put a Jacuzzi in the bath. In hindsight that still ranks as one of the worst decisions of our entire married life…but we were newlyweds and priorities were a bit different. We figured Bludie had been living happily in a less than 1000 square foot apartment for the first 6 months of her life, so why wouldn’t she be able to live equally happily in a house more than twice that size? Because, morons that we were, we forgot that MBP had been able to come home and let her out at lunch every day in the apartment, and that wouldn’t be a possibility in the new house. That reality slammed itself home to me the day that I left work early because I had the stomach flu. I felt wretched-truly-miserable-and all I wanted was to get home and get to bed. Instead, I came home to discover that Bludie was suffering from the same affliction as was I, and was left to deal with the affects of her illness by myself. Said effects were strewn from one end of the house to the other, and that’s all you really need to know about that. From then on, Bludie spent her days on the back deck.
But remember, dear friends, that one of the monikers with which we labeled our beloved dog was Bluedini? It was honestly earned. Since we had no back fence Blue spent her days blocked onto the deck with a baby gate. She had an uncanny ability to escape that confine, gate still firmly in place, and do what she did best-RUN. We got a call one afternoon from a former contractor of ours, letting us know that he had just picked up our fuzzy darling, some 5 miles down the road from our home. I guess she’d come looking for us; or she was trying to get the heck out of Dodge. But once caught, and she was back home, she was back in the house any time we were gone.
It all went well enough for a time, and it seemed that she had adjusted to being let out at 8 hour intervals. I’m not sure what she did all alone, in those hours we weren’t there, but since she didn’t seem to much care for our presence it came as a bit of a shock when we realized she didn’t like us gone. Her first act of letting us know her dissatisfaction with our absence was at the expense of one of MBP’s prize possessions, and of course, the house.
When we met MBP told me he loved ‘modern’ style furniture and accessories. I envisioned a bastion of masculine clean design-chrome and black leather-neatly tailored and elegant. While that isn’t my favorite personal style I wouldn’t have been far more likely to allow said items into my new home than what I found in reality. He may have loved ‘modern’ style, but his apartment was furnished in mid-century garage sale. It was horrifying, really, from the brass and glass coffee table to the multi-colored tweed couch. The only thing good about that couch was it was the same color as dog vomit, so Blue’s sick-up didn’t show up on it. What that meant was that all his man-trash made its way to the Goodwill (sick-up germs and all) and we bought bright shiny new furniture for our bright shiny new house and marriage. In deference to his personal preferences, and to the fact that when we were choosing the color scheme of paint/carpet and furnishing I hadn’t officially been asked to live there with him, the house was done in his favorite color-Taupe. The night I met MBP he was wearing a taupe shirt, and I had no idea how long it was going to take me to wrestle him out of that color. But at the time, everything in our world was varying shades of taupe, the lightest of which was the carpet.
The only things that really made it through the Laine-ado (like tornado, get it?) of 1996 were his house plants. It seems that before finding his dog, and his wife, MBP had been longing for something to take care of. I guess in an attempt to try-out care giving he had brought into his apartment a number of lovely house plants, all of which flourished in his care. The most recently added to the collection was a plant from his grandfather’s funeral. His grandfather, nick-named Cotton, had passed away just a few days before we met. The night we met he actually told me about the funeral and the plant he’s brought home. When we moved into the house we’d put that plant on the hearth, and MBP continued his careful tending of it. It grew, and was really a beautiful burst of life and green in an otherwise taupe world. After a few months it outgrew its original pot, so I bought it a new grand pot, and repotted it in rich, black, potting soil.
One evening we left for dinner (didn’t cook then, don’t cook now) with my mom and dad having come to town for the meal. We left Blue, as usual; sound asleep on the couch in the living room. She didn’t even lift her huge head to acknowledge our exit. So imagine our surprise on returning to find her sitting defiantly in the middle of the largest mess either of us had ever seen, with one sad dangle of that formally majestic plant drooping from her jowls. That gorgeous plant, and all its rich black dirt, was strewn from stem to stern of our living room. She’d apparently dug MBP’s prize plant from the pot, and proceeded to drag/sling/hurl/rub and grind it around the house. It also appeared that she had spent a particularly lengthy amount of time wallowing around in one spot smack in the middle of that living room, after having dumped the majority of that black dirt in said spot. It was so deeply ground in that there was absolutely no trace of the light creamy taupe color the carpet had been left in that spot.
We were stunned, and MBP was furious. It was the angriest I’d ever seen him at his beloved beastie. “Don’t hurt her”, I said to MBP, as Blue spit that last sagging tendril from her lips, and loped over to flop her huge self down with a sigh. Apparently, wreaking havoc on a house is EXHAUSTING.
We spent weeks cleaning that carpet, which never again was just the same color it had been. And that spot in the center of the room? We covered it with a brass and glass coffee table, which was then covered with a taupe table skirt.
We sold that home just a few years later. I wonder if the new owners have had any more luck than we did getting that black soil stain out.
One thing that my fount of knowledge book forgot to mention was that Husky’s do not like to be left alone. Perhaps that is because it isn’t truly a breed trait, but rather singular to our own dog. Or perhaps it’s a Malamusky trait, and therefore lacking in the breed about which the book was actually written. Whatever the case, our Bludie hated being left alone, and she wasn’t shy at all about letting us (and that sweet little house) know about it.
It started out innocently, really. When we built that sweet little house we were young, and naturally, relatively poor. Isn’t that just a natural condition of being young? When we starting building our little dream house there were any number of things we wanted included, ideally. Sadly, all those little ‘ideal’ details came at a price-apparently $500 each. After one or two additions of $500 we simply ran out of budget room for ‘ideal’ elements. So, we sacrificed the tile for formica and linoleum, and got the front yard covered in sod in lieu of the back. We also had to forgo the fence to enclose the backyard, to put a Jacuzzi in the bath. In hindsight that still ranks as one of the worst decisions of our entire married life…but we were newlyweds and priorities were a bit different. We figured Bludie had been living happily in a less than 1000 square foot apartment for the first 6 months of her life, so why wouldn’t she be able to live equally happily in a house more than twice that size? Because, morons that we were, we forgot that MBP had been able to come home and let her out at lunch every day in the apartment, and that wouldn’t be a possibility in the new house. That reality slammed itself home to me the day that I left work early because I had the stomach flu. I felt wretched-truly-miserable-and all I wanted was to get home and get to bed. Instead, I came home to discover that Bludie was suffering from the same affliction as was I, and was left to deal with the affects of her illness by myself. Said effects were strewn from one end of the house to the other, and that’s all you really need to know about that. From then on, Bludie spent her days on the back deck.
But remember, dear friends, that one of the monikers with which we labeled our beloved dog was Bluedini? It was honestly earned. Since we had no back fence Blue spent her days blocked onto the deck with a baby gate. She had an uncanny ability to escape that confine, gate still firmly in place, and do what she did best-RUN. We got a call one afternoon from a former contractor of ours, letting us know that he had just picked up our fuzzy darling, some 5 miles down the road from our home. I guess she’d come looking for us; or she was trying to get the heck out of Dodge. But once caught, and she was back home, she was back in the house any time we were gone.
It all went well enough for a time, and it seemed that she had adjusted to being let out at 8 hour intervals. I’m not sure what she did all alone, in those hours we weren’t there, but since she didn’t seem to much care for our presence it came as a bit of a shock when we realized she didn’t like us gone. Her first act of letting us know her dissatisfaction with our absence was at the expense of one of MBP’s prize possessions, and of course, the house.
When we met MBP told me he loved ‘modern’ style furniture and accessories. I envisioned a bastion of masculine clean design-chrome and black leather-neatly tailored and elegant. While that isn’t my favorite personal style I wouldn’t have been far more likely to allow said items into my new home than what I found in reality. He may have loved ‘modern’ style, but his apartment was furnished in mid-century garage sale. It was horrifying, really, from the brass and glass coffee table to the multi-colored tweed couch. The only thing good about that couch was it was the same color as dog vomit, so Blue’s sick-up didn’t show up on it. What that meant was that all his man-trash made its way to the Goodwill (sick-up germs and all) and we bought bright shiny new furniture for our bright shiny new house and marriage. In deference to his personal preferences, and to the fact that when we were choosing the color scheme of paint/carpet and furnishing I hadn’t officially been asked to live there with him, the house was done in his favorite color-Taupe. The night I met MBP he was wearing a taupe shirt, and I had no idea how long it was going to take me to wrestle him out of that color. But at the time, everything in our world was varying shades of taupe, the lightest of which was the carpet.
The only things that really made it through the Laine-ado (like tornado, get it?) of 1996 were his house plants. It seems that before finding his dog, and his wife, MBP had been longing for something to take care of. I guess in an attempt to try-out care giving he had brought into his apartment a number of lovely house plants, all of which flourished in his care. The most recently added to the collection was a plant from his grandfather’s funeral. His grandfather, nick-named Cotton, had passed away just a few days before we met. The night we met he actually told me about the funeral and the plant he’s brought home. When we moved into the house we’d put that plant on the hearth, and MBP continued his careful tending of it. It grew, and was really a beautiful burst of life and green in an otherwise taupe world. After a few months it outgrew its original pot, so I bought it a new grand pot, and repotted it in rich, black, potting soil.
One evening we left for dinner (didn’t cook then, don’t cook now) with my mom and dad having come to town for the meal. We left Blue, as usual; sound asleep on the couch in the living room. She didn’t even lift her huge head to acknowledge our exit. So imagine our surprise on returning to find her sitting defiantly in the middle of the largest mess either of us had ever seen, with one sad dangle of that formally majestic plant drooping from her jowls. That gorgeous plant, and all its rich black dirt, was strewn from stem to stern of our living room. She’d apparently dug MBP’s prize plant from the pot, and proceeded to drag/sling/hurl/rub and grind it around the house. It also appeared that she had spent a particularly lengthy amount of time wallowing around in one spot smack in the middle of that living room, after having dumped the majority of that black dirt in said spot. It was so deeply ground in that there was absolutely no trace of the light creamy taupe color the carpet had been left in that spot.
We were stunned, and MBP was furious. It was the angriest I’d ever seen him at his beloved beastie. “Don’t hurt her”, I said to MBP, as Blue spit that last sagging tendril from her lips, and loped over to flop her huge self down with a sigh. Apparently, wreaking havoc on a house is EXHAUSTING.
We spent weeks cleaning that carpet, which never again was just the same color it had been. And that spot in the center of the room? We covered it with a brass and glass coffee table, which was then covered with a taupe table skirt.
We sold that home just a few years later. I wonder if the new owners have had any more luck than we did getting that black soil stain out.
Monday, May 31, 2010
A slight identity crisis
After about 7months of being Blue’s mommy I did what I should have done about 7 months and two weeks earlier; I bought an “All You Need to Know Before You Buy a Husky” book. Mr. Big Prize can’t read, so it was left to me to do the educating for both of us. I suppose I should explain a bit further that last seemingly libelous statement about MBP. He can read; I’ve just never actually seen him do it. When we first met, and I expressed to him my love of literature, he gave me his best crooked smile and said “I can’t read”. Well, since he owns a company whose primary function is writing publicity materials, and he himself is head copywriter, I’m assuming he is actually capable of reading. He just abhors it. I blame it on his adult ADHD, and his refusal to seek medical treatment for it.
Therefore, I was left to do the Husky reading and research. We found ourselves trying ardently to parent a dog that seemed completely independent, bull headed, stubborn, and bothered by our existence. I’m convinced to this day that if Blue had been capable of opening the dog food bag on her own she’d have off’d us both and buried our stinking corpses in the back yard. This was not at all the snuggly, cuddly, anthropomorphic experience either of us had envisioned, and I needed to know if it was the breed to blame, or had we as dog parents done something horribly, terribly wrong.
So, into the book I dove, determined to find the answers. I was so anxious to see what this fount of knowledge had to share with me about our baby Bludie. I learned A) Husky’s are not an ideal dog for apartment living (no kidding..) B) They have an inherent and incurable urge to run (you don’t say) C) They are not affectionate by nature and do not bond readily with their owners (well thank God it wasn’t our fault) D) They can be extremely destructive if stressed (we’ll get to that later) and E) and adult female Husky should mature at around 45 pounds. WHAT??? Wait, let me read that again. An ADULT Husky female should mature at around 45 pounds. At the reading of those words my Bludie was 7 months old, and 50 pounds. According to our book she wouldn’t reach her full adult weight until a year of age, or even slightly after. At this point I can actually remember feeling faint. If she weighed this much at 7 months, how much was she going to weigh once she actually reached her full adult weight?? 105 pounds. Yep. 105. By the time she matured, my dog weighed only 5 pounds less than I did. I guess its good I got my bluff in on her pretty early.
But my question/concern when I ran in to share the dread news with Mr. Conveniently Illiterate in the other room was “how on earth is this happening?” Was there something terribly wrong with our dog? Some crazy thyroid condition? Some incurable elephantitis disorder? Contamination from a nuclear reactor? Mr. Big Prize looked confused with my concern. “But don’t you remember”, he said “her daddy weighed 120 pounds”. WHUUU??? No, I did not remember this. Her parents hadn’t been ‘on site’ as they say, so we saw neither daddy nor mommy dearest the day we took her home, so how on earth did he know that she was the spawn of some behemoth?? Well, gentle reader, unbeknownst to me, the owner of that now notorious Christmas tree farm had pulled MBP aside while I was incoherent from the stench of the place and had shown him a photo or two of Big Daddy. “Yeah, “ MBP said glibly “her daddy was a big boy. He had a bigger boxier head than she does and a longer snout, his coat was a little longer, and his eyes were brown, not blue, but he was GORGEOUS”. “HELLO” I screamed back “HUSKIES don’t weigh 120 pounds, have boxy heads or brown eyes. MALAMUTES do!!” And it was on that moment that we both realized why we had gotten our puppy for such a bottom basement price, why she’d come with out papers, and why those parents hadn’t been ‘on site’. We also realized why she just kept growing, and growing and growing. We were not the proud owners of the pure bred husky we thought we were, but the proud owners of a mutt- half Malamute, Half Husky. We had a Malamusky. Those suckers are huge.
Therefore, I was left to do the Husky reading and research. We found ourselves trying ardently to parent a dog that seemed completely independent, bull headed, stubborn, and bothered by our existence. I’m convinced to this day that if Blue had been capable of opening the dog food bag on her own she’d have off’d us both and buried our stinking corpses in the back yard. This was not at all the snuggly, cuddly, anthropomorphic experience either of us had envisioned, and I needed to know if it was the breed to blame, or had we as dog parents done something horribly, terribly wrong.
So, into the book I dove, determined to find the answers. I was so anxious to see what this fount of knowledge had to share with me about our baby Bludie. I learned A) Husky’s are not an ideal dog for apartment living (no kidding..) B) They have an inherent and incurable urge to run (you don’t say) C) They are not affectionate by nature and do not bond readily with their owners (well thank God it wasn’t our fault) D) They can be extremely destructive if stressed (we’ll get to that later) and E) and adult female Husky should mature at around 45 pounds. WHAT??? Wait, let me read that again. An ADULT Husky female should mature at around 45 pounds. At the reading of those words my Bludie was 7 months old, and 50 pounds. According to our book she wouldn’t reach her full adult weight until a year of age, or even slightly after. At this point I can actually remember feeling faint. If she weighed this much at 7 months, how much was she going to weigh once she actually reached her full adult weight?? 105 pounds. Yep. 105. By the time she matured, my dog weighed only 5 pounds less than I did. I guess its good I got my bluff in on her pretty early.
But my question/concern when I ran in to share the dread news with Mr. Conveniently Illiterate in the other room was “how on earth is this happening?” Was there something terribly wrong with our dog? Some crazy thyroid condition? Some incurable elephantitis disorder? Contamination from a nuclear reactor? Mr. Big Prize looked confused with my concern. “But don’t you remember”, he said “her daddy weighed 120 pounds”. WHUUU??? No, I did not remember this. Her parents hadn’t been ‘on site’ as they say, so we saw neither daddy nor mommy dearest the day we took her home, so how on earth did he know that she was the spawn of some behemoth?? Well, gentle reader, unbeknownst to me, the owner of that now notorious Christmas tree farm had pulled MBP aside while I was incoherent from the stench of the place and had shown him a photo or two of Big Daddy. “Yeah, “ MBP said glibly “her daddy was a big boy. He had a bigger boxier head than she does and a longer snout, his coat was a little longer, and his eyes were brown, not blue, but he was GORGEOUS”. “HELLO” I screamed back “HUSKIES don’t weigh 120 pounds, have boxy heads or brown eyes. MALAMUTES do!!” And it was on that moment that we both realized why we had gotten our puppy for such a bottom basement price, why she’d come with out papers, and why those parents hadn’t been ‘on site’. We also realized why she just kept growing, and growing and growing. We were not the proud owners of the pure bred husky we thought we were, but the proud owners of a mutt- half Malamute, Half Husky. We had a Malamusky. Those suckers are huge.
A message from the emergency broadcast system
We interupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this message:
Go buy Dog House: A Love Story, by Carol Prisant. It's on sale now at fine retailers everywhere, and more than well worth your $22 investment. You'll laugh, cry, and possibly be motivated to start your own masterpiece...or at least on online diary of all your own doggie loves!
Go buy Dog House: A Love Story, by Carol Prisant. It's on sale now at fine retailers everywhere, and more than well worth your $22 investment. You'll laugh, cry, and possibly be motivated to start your own masterpiece...or at least on online diary of all your own doggie loves!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Let's just get one thing straight...
And so we wed. It was a blissful time, settling in to that home I had so carefully but inconspicuously planned. It takes some real skill to convince a single, non-cooking, dangerously heterosexual male that he really does prefer the porcelain covered cast iron sink to the stainless steel. Mr. Big Prize actually moved in, with that dog, on the first of July. They spent three heavenly weeks together in their new home, before I decided to intrude for eternity on their domestic bliss.
Once again (do you notice a theme here) had we taken the time to educate ourselves about the breed we would have known that Huskies are not only obstinate and belligerent, they can also be quite aggressive. They are ranked by insurance companies as one of the top five most dangerous dogs to own, followed by their relative, the Malamute. Again, more on that later. While we had no idea of their propensity for violence, we certainly were well aware of their bull-headedness. If Blue didn’t want to do something she simply didn’t, and if she did want to do something, she did. And she did or didn’t do so as she darn well pleased. She absolutely was NOT allowed on MBP’s bed, but each day he’d come home from work, and peak through the blinds to his bedroom, to see that stinky shedding mongrel stretched out completely unconscious on said bed. By the time his key was in the lock, and that lock turned, that dog would be sitting obediently on the tile foyer smiling her goofy smile at him as he pushed the door open. That dog was a veritable Blue-dini.
Another breed trait? Huskies are totally without that most adorable of canine attributes-the desire to please. So, early on, she and her daddy had to have more than a few come to Jesus meetings about her peculiar and often unacceptable behavior. In the days before the dog whisperer, Mr. Big Prize figured out on his very own the best way to deal with a dog such as this. One fine evening I arrived at his less than 1000 square foot apartment, slipped my newly minted shiny key into the lock, and walked in the door-to find MBP pinning that dog to the floor, his mouth on her neck, growling at her. Yes, I know. For a few fleeting seconds I considered turning and leaving and never ever ever coming back. But he saw me too soon. “She needs to know who’s boss”, he said, grinning at me with a literal mouth full of white fur. And she did. From that day forth the two of them had a relationship where MBP was truly the Alpha, and she never even considered questioning it again.
I, however, simply never had it in me to hold the dog down by my shiny white teeth and make guttural noises at her, so she and I slipped into what I considered to be a relationship of mutual respect. She seemed to do pretty much as I asked, and was never openly aggressive to me as I cuddled beside her daddy on the couch, or ate at the table with him, or gave him a kiss goodnight. She’d sit/shake/speak/lay down at my command. She never ever gave MBP kisses, but she developed a lifelong habit of acknowledging my presence by bestowing upon me ‘chin kisses’. She’d put that huge velvety muzzle of hers on my chin and give me two tiny licks, right on the bottom of the chin. So, obviously, she respected me as pack leader number two, right? Ha, wrong.
As previously mentioned, when I married I was a real estate agent, and as such, had very flexible office hours. The first day after we married I decided to stay ‘home’ and finish my unpacking, and basically revel in my newly achieved domestic bliss. MBP kissed my forehead, and cruised off in that tiny red convertible to his shiny office in the Big City. And it was just me, and that dog. The day started well enough. I let her out, I let her in. I fed her, walked her, and then proceeded to ignore her as I unpacked and arranged. I’d spent weeks collecting all manner of wonderful knick-knacks with which to fill our new home, and now was my chance to feed my decorating compulsion.
Then, it happened. I walked into the living room to find that dog spreading all of her then 50 pounds of hair covered girth on my new off white couch. “OFF!” I ordered. That dog didn’t even lift her shaggy head. “Blue, get DOWN. NOW”, I said, in a deeper, more authoritative voice. A deep sigh escaped her, and one ear might have twitched in my general direction, but nothing else. SO, not to be intimidated, I marched up and grabbed that dog by the collar and wretched her lazy butt off ‘my’ couch. HA! There, you mongrel, now we know who’s boss here. Yes, indeed she did. For the first time in our many years together I witnessed “crazy Blue”. That dog whirled on me, crouched with legs bent slightly and spread far apart. With ears pinned back, and tail tucked, she began to spin wildly, first clockwise, then counter clock wise. She’d stop periodically and observe me, ostensibly to see if I’d collapse into fits of hysteria yet. Nope, I stood firm. That dog does NOT belong on my couch. I glowered at her from my 5’6” height, hands on hips, legs spread in an authoritative stance.
So then, it really really happened. That dog whirled off to our bedroom, and jumped her furry self right on up onto our newly purchased queen bed, beautifully crafted from wrought iron and bearing an imposing canopy. She hopped herself right up onto my side of that bed, did a few more crazy Blue spins, then turned to look me dead in the eye, and peed on my pillow. Yep, smack in the middle. And not just a little piddle-no, a HUGE gallon of it, as only a 50 pound dog bladder can create. I guess I was wrong about that whole mutual respect thing. She let me know, quite clearly, that this was HER house, HER man, and HER bed, and I’d better be watching my back. I was all well and good as a mommy from afar, but was absolutely not welcome to stay and certainly not allowed to tell her what to do.
I guess I was just too stupid to know that she was in fact, big enough to rip my throat out, and considering her breed, more than capable of doing so. I was furious- and in my righteous indignation I marched all 110 pounds of me into that bedroom, grabbed up all 50 pounds of her, and tossed her sorry butt outside-where she stayed for the next 7 hours, 59 minutes, staring in the door. As I cleaned, as I cooked, and as I made it perfectly clear whose house this really was. I’d worked way too hard to get myself in there, and certainly wasn’t giving it up for some Christmas tree farm mutt.
After 7 hours and 59 minutes, and right before MBP rolled into our driveway, I let that dog back in. I gave her dinner, petted her fuzzy head, and told her to stay off the couch. She did as told, and she licked my chin. For the next 12 years she and I loved each other quite dearly, and sometimes, I even let her get up on the bed.
Once again (do you notice a theme here) had we taken the time to educate ourselves about the breed we would have known that Huskies are not only obstinate and belligerent, they can also be quite aggressive. They are ranked by insurance companies as one of the top five most dangerous dogs to own, followed by their relative, the Malamute. Again, more on that later. While we had no idea of their propensity for violence, we certainly were well aware of their bull-headedness. If Blue didn’t want to do something she simply didn’t, and if she did want to do something, she did. And she did or didn’t do so as she darn well pleased. She absolutely was NOT allowed on MBP’s bed, but each day he’d come home from work, and peak through the blinds to his bedroom, to see that stinky shedding mongrel stretched out completely unconscious on said bed. By the time his key was in the lock, and that lock turned, that dog would be sitting obediently on the tile foyer smiling her goofy smile at him as he pushed the door open. That dog was a veritable Blue-dini.
Another breed trait? Huskies are totally without that most adorable of canine attributes-the desire to please. So, early on, she and her daddy had to have more than a few come to Jesus meetings about her peculiar and often unacceptable behavior. In the days before the dog whisperer, Mr. Big Prize figured out on his very own the best way to deal with a dog such as this. One fine evening I arrived at his less than 1000 square foot apartment, slipped my newly minted shiny key into the lock, and walked in the door-to find MBP pinning that dog to the floor, his mouth on her neck, growling at her. Yes, I know. For a few fleeting seconds I considered turning and leaving and never ever ever coming back. But he saw me too soon. “She needs to know who’s boss”, he said, grinning at me with a literal mouth full of white fur. And she did. From that day forth the two of them had a relationship where MBP was truly the Alpha, and she never even considered questioning it again.
I, however, simply never had it in me to hold the dog down by my shiny white teeth and make guttural noises at her, so she and I slipped into what I considered to be a relationship of mutual respect. She seemed to do pretty much as I asked, and was never openly aggressive to me as I cuddled beside her daddy on the couch, or ate at the table with him, or gave him a kiss goodnight. She’d sit/shake/speak/lay down at my command. She never ever gave MBP kisses, but she developed a lifelong habit of acknowledging my presence by bestowing upon me ‘chin kisses’. She’d put that huge velvety muzzle of hers on my chin and give me two tiny licks, right on the bottom of the chin. So, obviously, she respected me as pack leader number two, right? Ha, wrong.
As previously mentioned, when I married I was a real estate agent, and as such, had very flexible office hours. The first day after we married I decided to stay ‘home’ and finish my unpacking, and basically revel in my newly achieved domestic bliss. MBP kissed my forehead, and cruised off in that tiny red convertible to his shiny office in the Big City. And it was just me, and that dog. The day started well enough. I let her out, I let her in. I fed her, walked her, and then proceeded to ignore her as I unpacked and arranged. I’d spent weeks collecting all manner of wonderful knick-knacks with which to fill our new home, and now was my chance to feed my decorating compulsion.
Then, it happened. I walked into the living room to find that dog spreading all of her then 50 pounds of hair covered girth on my new off white couch. “OFF!” I ordered. That dog didn’t even lift her shaggy head. “Blue, get DOWN. NOW”, I said, in a deeper, more authoritative voice. A deep sigh escaped her, and one ear might have twitched in my general direction, but nothing else. SO, not to be intimidated, I marched up and grabbed that dog by the collar and wretched her lazy butt off ‘my’ couch. HA! There, you mongrel, now we know who’s boss here. Yes, indeed she did. For the first time in our many years together I witnessed “crazy Blue”. That dog whirled on me, crouched with legs bent slightly and spread far apart. With ears pinned back, and tail tucked, she began to spin wildly, first clockwise, then counter clock wise. She’d stop periodically and observe me, ostensibly to see if I’d collapse into fits of hysteria yet. Nope, I stood firm. That dog does NOT belong on my couch. I glowered at her from my 5’6” height, hands on hips, legs spread in an authoritative stance.
So then, it really really happened. That dog whirled off to our bedroom, and jumped her furry self right on up onto our newly purchased queen bed, beautifully crafted from wrought iron and bearing an imposing canopy. She hopped herself right up onto my side of that bed, did a few more crazy Blue spins, then turned to look me dead in the eye, and peed on my pillow. Yep, smack in the middle. And not just a little piddle-no, a HUGE gallon of it, as only a 50 pound dog bladder can create. I guess I was wrong about that whole mutual respect thing. She let me know, quite clearly, that this was HER house, HER man, and HER bed, and I’d better be watching my back. I was all well and good as a mommy from afar, but was absolutely not welcome to stay and certainly not allowed to tell her what to do.
I guess I was just too stupid to know that she was in fact, big enough to rip my throat out, and considering her breed, more than capable of doing so. I was furious- and in my righteous indignation I marched all 110 pounds of me into that bedroom, grabbed up all 50 pounds of her, and tossed her sorry butt outside-where she stayed for the next 7 hours, 59 minutes, staring in the door. As I cleaned, as I cooked, and as I made it perfectly clear whose house this really was. I’d worked way too hard to get myself in there, and certainly wasn’t giving it up for some Christmas tree farm mutt.
After 7 hours and 59 minutes, and right before MBP rolled into our driveway, I let that dog back in. I gave her dinner, petted her fuzzy head, and told her to stay off the couch. She did as told, and she licked my chin. For the next 12 years she and I loved each other quite dearly, and sometimes, I even let her get up on the bed.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
No Lifeguard on Duty; Swim At Your Own Risk
Spring melted into summer, and Mr. Big prize finally figured out he was gonna marry me. We discussed marriage in May, were officially engaged June 27th, and married July 20th- of the same summer. And before your nasty little minds start to speculate, we have no human children, so no, there was no reason for the rush except the fact that we couldn’t see any good reason why we shouldn’t just go ahead and get it done. We were two adults with careers and a new home to move into, so why delay it for the absurd reason of looking for a better wedding venue? But I digress.
There were a few odd weeks between when we decided to marry until we actually did. They were, as you can imagine, extraordinarily busy weeks, filled with wild wedding planning (I visited the cake boutique and the florist in the same day), a house to finish up, furniture to buy (because MBP was NOT bringing his man trash into my new house) and parties to attend. There was also his crying mother to contend with (you aren’t really going MARRY that girl, are you?), but those issues have long since resolved.
We were having a lovely time packing and planning, planning and packing. And all the while our ever growing baby lolled about the house watching it all take place. Blue was never an affectionate dog. Had we known anything at all about the breed we would have known that Huskies really could care less about the people in their lives. They have one purpose, one love, and one focus-running. You have no idea how many times that theme will show up in the Blue stories. They are stubborn, single minded and uninterested in their people. But we were interested in her. No, I take that back. I was interested, MBP was obsessed. There was a brief time when I was concerned that I might have made a HUGE strategic error with my whole grand evil plan. The whole purpose for getting the dog was to make me seem even more indispensable to MBP, but there were a few brief moments where I feared that stinky shedding beastie might actually just replace me entirely in his affections. Truth be told, I think I’ve been outranked on any number of occasions by certain canine loves of MBP, but he won’t admit it.
One afternoon we were packing up that beloved tiny apartment of his, and found ourselves tired and cranky and extraordinarily hot. We glanced over to where Blue was lolling, and saw that she too was panting hard from the heat. This is the part of the story where I tell you that dogs over 25 pounds were strictly forbidden in his upscale apartment complex, and that MBP had been sneaking his ever growing bundle in and out of his apartment for weeks. But hey, we both figured, he’s moving out, so why hide her anymore? More than that, it was hot and miserable, and we all needed a break. What better, we asked ourselves, than a dip in that cool crystal clear pool that was oh-so-conveniently located just steps from his sliding glass patio door? We’d be pool free too soon, so why not take a quick afternoon dip…with our overheated dog? This, as you can imagine, was extraordinarily against the rules.
The pool was surrounded by an iron fence, bars narrowly spaced. We figured we’d all be safe and sound inside those confines. We jumped into our suits, scooped up Blue, and shot out into the pool. Because of the proximity of his apartment to said pool, MBP didn’t bother bringing either shirt or shoes poolside. What’s the point, right? Well…
MBP lowered himself, and that dog, gingerly into the water, and I followed. She clung to him madly, pointed ears dropping to the far sides of her head like they did whenever she was stressed or extremely scared. Her paws, huge in relation to the rest of her, curled around his shoulders, and her neck stretched as high as it possibly could to keep her head out of water. MBP is 6’4” tall, and we were in the shallow end. She was in no danger. It’s possible that only the tip of her tail was actually in the water. Again, had we taken the time to educate ourselves at all about the breed we would have known that Huskies don’t just hate water, they loathe it. Dogs bred in the arctic for sled racing hate water? What??
Mr. Big Prize gently lowered his frenzied bundle into the water, turned in my direction, and let go. SHE SWAM! She swam beautifully and confidently, and right toward me-her MOMMY!! Then, she swan right past me, right on to the steps leading out of the pool. The minute her paws hit stairs she was running. Up the steps, across the sunning area, and right through those closely spaced iron bars she ran, at full out top Husky racing speed. She took off like there was a village in Alaska dying from the plague and she was carrying the cure. And there were MBP and I, slowed from exiting the pool by the pull of the water on legs, unable to stop what was happening.
Before I knew what was happening MBP had bolted from that pool, over those iron bars, and was running wet, shirtless and barefooted after that horrified wet dog. It was a long long footrace over sticker filled grass and gravel, her four legs to his two. He finally caught her, and was forced to carry the soggy thing all the way back to the apartment, while she quivered and clung, and I laughed.
It would not be the last time Mr. Big Prize was forced to run, nearly naked, after his first true doggie love.
There were a few odd weeks between when we decided to marry until we actually did. They were, as you can imagine, extraordinarily busy weeks, filled with wild wedding planning (I visited the cake boutique and the florist in the same day), a house to finish up, furniture to buy (because MBP was NOT bringing his man trash into my new house) and parties to attend. There was also his crying mother to contend with (you aren’t really going MARRY that girl, are you?), but those issues have long since resolved.
We were having a lovely time packing and planning, planning and packing. And all the while our ever growing baby lolled about the house watching it all take place. Blue was never an affectionate dog. Had we known anything at all about the breed we would have known that Huskies really could care less about the people in their lives. They have one purpose, one love, and one focus-running. You have no idea how many times that theme will show up in the Blue stories. They are stubborn, single minded and uninterested in their people. But we were interested in her. No, I take that back. I was interested, MBP was obsessed. There was a brief time when I was concerned that I might have made a HUGE strategic error with my whole grand evil plan. The whole purpose for getting the dog was to make me seem even more indispensable to MBP, but there were a few brief moments where I feared that stinky shedding beastie might actually just replace me entirely in his affections. Truth be told, I think I’ve been outranked on any number of occasions by certain canine loves of MBP, but he won’t admit it.
One afternoon we were packing up that beloved tiny apartment of his, and found ourselves tired and cranky and extraordinarily hot. We glanced over to where Blue was lolling, and saw that she too was panting hard from the heat. This is the part of the story where I tell you that dogs over 25 pounds were strictly forbidden in his upscale apartment complex, and that MBP had been sneaking his ever growing bundle in and out of his apartment for weeks. But hey, we both figured, he’s moving out, so why hide her anymore? More than that, it was hot and miserable, and we all needed a break. What better, we asked ourselves, than a dip in that cool crystal clear pool that was oh-so-conveniently located just steps from his sliding glass patio door? We’d be pool free too soon, so why not take a quick afternoon dip…with our overheated dog? This, as you can imagine, was extraordinarily against the rules.
The pool was surrounded by an iron fence, bars narrowly spaced. We figured we’d all be safe and sound inside those confines. We jumped into our suits, scooped up Blue, and shot out into the pool. Because of the proximity of his apartment to said pool, MBP didn’t bother bringing either shirt or shoes poolside. What’s the point, right? Well…
MBP lowered himself, and that dog, gingerly into the water, and I followed. She clung to him madly, pointed ears dropping to the far sides of her head like they did whenever she was stressed or extremely scared. Her paws, huge in relation to the rest of her, curled around his shoulders, and her neck stretched as high as it possibly could to keep her head out of water. MBP is 6’4” tall, and we were in the shallow end. She was in no danger. It’s possible that only the tip of her tail was actually in the water. Again, had we taken the time to educate ourselves at all about the breed we would have known that Huskies don’t just hate water, they loathe it. Dogs bred in the arctic for sled racing hate water? What??
Mr. Big Prize gently lowered his frenzied bundle into the water, turned in my direction, and let go. SHE SWAM! She swam beautifully and confidently, and right toward me-her MOMMY!! Then, she swan right past me, right on to the steps leading out of the pool. The minute her paws hit stairs she was running. Up the steps, across the sunning area, and right through those closely spaced iron bars she ran, at full out top Husky racing speed. She took off like there was a village in Alaska dying from the plague and she was carrying the cure. And there were MBP and I, slowed from exiting the pool by the pull of the water on legs, unable to stop what was happening.
Before I knew what was happening MBP had bolted from that pool, over those iron bars, and was running wet, shirtless and barefooted after that horrified wet dog. It was a long long footrace over sticker filled grass and gravel, her four legs to his two. He finally caught her, and was forced to carry the soggy thing all the way back to the apartment, while she quivered and clung, and I laughed.
It would not be the last time Mr. Big Prize was forced to run, nearly naked, after his first true doggie love.
Friday, May 28, 2010
She. Was. RUNNING
Blue started growing rapidly, as did MBP’s love for the stinky blue-eyed beastie. If he made the 30 minute drive to my parent’s house to see me it was with that dog on his lap. This became an increasingly funny picture as Blue eventually reached her full 105 pound weight, especially since many of those trips were made in that shiny-tiny-red convertible.
But before she reached that full weight she was a roly-poly little bundle of eternally shedding energy (working dog, remember?)…an incredibly active but still not all that bright ball of energy. Even as a puppy she was weighty, gangly, and enthusiastic. If there was one thing that our Bludie was most enthusiastic about, it was running. We fought a life long battle against her urge to run. That is, after all, what Huskies are bred to do; run and run and run and run….and run. And for ‘our’ Husky, the only place she had to indulge that running urge was in my parent’s oversized back yard. Mr. Big Prize, after surviving another harrowing journey on the interstate with a Husky on his lap, would keep her leash bound into the house, but the minute she was at the back door she was off the leash and gone. She’d run like the proverbial bat out of hell, in no particular direction and for no discernable reason. She was just OFF and going, full force, full steam ahead, no holds barred. It was all well and good, until my mother decided she needed a screened-in back porch.
She and my father hired a fabulous contractor, and work began on a gorgeous spring day. For two weeks the contractor worked on roof and three screened walls, while mother and I patiently taped off a faux brick pattern on the concrete floor and stained it a very believable brick red. Then we painted the frame a wonderful forest green and stood back to admire our handiwork. Then Mr. Big Prize came to take it and all it’s meticulously executed beauty in. And of course, he brought that dog.
MBP has just opened the back door and released her from her leash when my mother, belatedly, realized what was about to happen. And it did, just like something out of a comedy. That roly-poly bundle of not so bright energy bounded down our three back steps and ran full force, full steam ahead, no holds barred-right through the bottom left panel of newly secured screen wall in my mothers newly constructed screened porch. And she never stopped running-that not so bright bundle of energy had no idea she’d just burst through $1500 and two weeks of work. And we all cracked up laughing. We laughed until tears streamed down our faces and our stomachs cramped. Even my mother, who is not usually known for having what one might call a ‘sense of humor’ when it comes to either money or her home, laughed and laughed and laughed. Blue was always good for a laugh.
But, gentle reader, this erstwhile tale does not end here. Mr. Big Prize felt duly miserable about it. This was still early enough in our courtship that he was feeling the need to impress the girlfriend’s parents, and his dog had just managed to create wreck and ruin in their home. So, the next Saturday MBP showed up with hammer, nails, and a roll of screen purchased at the local home supply store. I need to insert at this point that MBP is not what one might refer to as ‘handy’. His father isn’t handy, and therefore, no one ever taught him the tricks of the trade either. So, even the simplest of ‘handy’ tasks tend to take a bit longer for him. Not so much now, after 10 blissful years of owning a home rapidly approaching its 100th birthday, but then…OH YES. So, he spent his whole Saturday measuring and cutting, cutting and measuring, lather rinse repeat-you get the idea. But in the end, there in that bottom left panel of that porch was a newly stretched and secured screen. You couldn’t even tell it had been replaced, almost.
We all stood back and admired his handiwork. I glowed with some ‘I’m gonna marry him soon’ pride, my mother thanked him profusely, and my father managed not to tell him the 10 things he’d done wrong during the process. Then we opened the back door, and out ran Blue.
Right through the screen, again.
But before she reached that full weight she was a roly-poly little bundle of eternally shedding energy (working dog, remember?)…an incredibly active but still not all that bright ball of energy. Even as a puppy she was weighty, gangly, and enthusiastic. If there was one thing that our Bludie was most enthusiastic about, it was running. We fought a life long battle against her urge to run. That is, after all, what Huskies are bred to do; run and run and run and run….and run. And for ‘our’ Husky, the only place she had to indulge that running urge was in my parent’s oversized back yard. Mr. Big Prize, after surviving another harrowing journey on the interstate with a Husky on his lap, would keep her leash bound into the house, but the minute she was at the back door she was off the leash and gone. She’d run like the proverbial bat out of hell, in no particular direction and for no discernable reason. She was just OFF and going, full force, full steam ahead, no holds barred. It was all well and good, until my mother decided she needed a screened-in back porch.
She and my father hired a fabulous contractor, and work began on a gorgeous spring day. For two weeks the contractor worked on roof and three screened walls, while mother and I patiently taped off a faux brick pattern on the concrete floor and stained it a very believable brick red. Then we painted the frame a wonderful forest green and stood back to admire our handiwork. Then Mr. Big Prize came to take it and all it’s meticulously executed beauty in. And of course, he brought that dog.
MBP has just opened the back door and released her from her leash when my mother, belatedly, realized what was about to happen. And it did, just like something out of a comedy. That roly-poly bundle of not so bright energy bounded down our three back steps and ran full force, full steam ahead, no holds barred-right through the bottom left panel of newly secured screen wall in my mothers newly constructed screened porch. And she never stopped running-that not so bright bundle of energy had no idea she’d just burst through $1500 and two weeks of work. And we all cracked up laughing. We laughed until tears streamed down our faces and our stomachs cramped. Even my mother, who is not usually known for having what one might call a ‘sense of humor’ when it comes to either money or her home, laughed and laughed and laughed. Blue was always good for a laugh.
But, gentle reader, this erstwhile tale does not end here. Mr. Big Prize felt duly miserable about it. This was still early enough in our courtship that he was feeling the need to impress the girlfriend’s parents, and his dog had just managed to create wreck and ruin in their home. So, the next Saturday MBP showed up with hammer, nails, and a roll of screen purchased at the local home supply store. I need to insert at this point that MBP is not what one might refer to as ‘handy’. His father isn’t handy, and therefore, no one ever taught him the tricks of the trade either. So, even the simplest of ‘handy’ tasks tend to take a bit longer for him. Not so much now, after 10 blissful years of owning a home rapidly approaching its 100th birthday, but then…OH YES. So, he spent his whole Saturday measuring and cutting, cutting and measuring, lather rinse repeat-you get the idea. But in the end, there in that bottom left panel of that porch was a newly stretched and secured screen. You couldn’t even tell it had been replaced, almost.
We all stood back and admired his handiwork. I glowed with some ‘I’m gonna marry him soon’ pride, my mother thanked him profusely, and my father managed not to tell him the 10 things he’d done wrong during the process. Then we opened the back door, and out ran Blue.
Right through the screen, again.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
8 dogs, 14 years
I just finished reading the most wonderful book. My daddy bought it for me as an early birthday gift, and I sped through it in record time. I loved it so much, in fact, that I felt compelled to email the author and tell her just how much I loved it. I’ve never done that before. If she emails me back to give me a nice Southern “thank you very much” I’ll tell you the name of that book. She’s a Yankee, but she seemed nice enough in the book.
Her book was about her dogs over the years, their antics, their love and the unconditional happiness they bring, even when they are making you furious. So, I’m inspired today to write a little dog ‘book’ of my own right here on my blog. You all know I’m an animal lover, but I’m a card carrying Dog Person as well. I’ve decided that I’m going to write about each of the wonderful balls of fluff that have been part of my marriage. I will not write about the dogs I had as a child, because at the time my mother was not a Dog Person (she’s since reformed), and none of those stories end happily. So, I’ll just write about my little loves in fur since I married Mr. Big Prize. This is gonna have to be my first multi-part blog, because after 14 years of marriage and eight dogs, well, you just can’t say it quick.
My story really begins about 15 years ago, when I decided I really wanted to marry Mr. Big Prize. He was a Dog Person, though in his then 28 years of life he’d only had one-Friend, an ‘outside’ Cocker Spaniel that chocked to death on a chicken bone at some much too early age. But, despite that early tragedy, Mr. Big Prize was a dog lover. He had a breed all picked out-Border Collie- and a name ready to go –Blue. He even had a little magazine cut-out taped to his refrigerator door of just that sort of dog. Sitting obediently, blue eyes looking expectantly at some off camera master, yep, that was the Blue Mr. Big Prize wanted. But, from the very beginning of our courtship I’d pretty much been able to convince him that he needed whatever I thought he needed…whether I was right or not. So, I decided that even though he was then living in a less than 1000 square foot apartment, he needed a dog. But even I, dog behavior novice that I was, knew that a Border Collie was working dog, and those can’t be kept in a less than 1000 square foot apartment. But Mr. Big Prize loved those big blue eyes, so I found another dog with equally big, equally blue, eyes. The Husky. Yes, you may now laugh. If there is any dog on the planet LESS suited to a less than 1000 square foot apartment than the Border Collie, it’s the Husky. But, I was determined, and for those who know me, that’s a dangerous state for me to be in.
I found a copy of the Sunday paper, and a listing for a breeder only 20 minutes away who was advertising Husky pups for a low low $85.00. So, out we went, to buy ‘our’ first dog. Now, let me back-track a bit, back to that part about wanting to marry Mr. Big Prize. MBP claimed that he wanted to get married, and that he wanted that real bad. Both being of the Southern and Christian persuasions, and both being children of ministers of the latter, we weren’t the ‘moving in together’ types. Sadly, I found MBP to be a bit slow in the proposing department, and I devised a plan to speed things up a bit. It was two fold; A) get him out of that less than 1000 square foot apartment and into a bright shiny newly built home of his very own, and B) Get him a dog-one that thought of me as ‘mommy’. As a realtor at the time I had him building that house in no time flat, and I was picking out the paint colors. And so that is how/why, on that Sunday afternoon we found ourselves driving his bright red convertible to a Christmas tree farm to pick out a bright shiny new puppy too.
Blue was neither bright, nor was she shiny. That Christmas tree farm was filthy, inside and out, and the wooden deck we were shown to was covered in such layers of filth as it is impossible to describe. There they were-two little adorable wolf faced pups, but with those glowing blue eyes. One was silver, the other red. We scooped up that little silver darling, and trotted her out of that filth for a negotiated $65.00. Note: this was the first time I had seen what I now know to be MBP most embarrassing habit-dickering. But we got our ‘new baby’ for $20 off her suggested retail price, and off we went.
On the way home, in that tiny red convertible, in a pouring rainstorm, the newly Christened Blue started putting a powerful wail…and an even more powerful stink.
That dog smelled worse than anything I have ever smelled, before or since. And it didn’t go away. We got her home and dunked her immediately in bubble bath, certain her aroma was merely the effect of the squalor in which she’d been living. But no, that wasn’t it… precisely. Our beloved baby Blue had, we discovered after her cleaning, two open wounds on her rumpus. I’ll spare you the details, but those were the source of the stink. It took months to clear up those spots, and months more to clear the miasma they’d left out of that less than 1000 square foot apartment. It did, however, forcibly cement me as ‘mommy’.
Much much more to come...
Her book was about her dogs over the years, their antics, their love and the unconditional happiness they bring, even when they are making you furious. So, I’m inspired today to write a little dog ‘book’ of my own right here on my blog. You all know I’m an animal lover, but I’m a card carrying Dog Person as well. I’ve decided that I’m going to write about each of the wonderful balls of fluff that have been part of my marriage. I will not write about the dogs I had as a child, because at the time my mother was not a Dog Person (she’s since reformed), and none of those stories end happily. So, I’ll just write about my little loves in fur since I married Mr. Big Prize. This is gonna have to be my first multi-part blog, because after 14 years of marriage and eight dogs, well, you just can’t say it quick.
My story really begins about 15 years ago, when I decided I really wanted to marry Mr. Big Prize. He was a Dog Person, though in his then 28 years of life he’d only had one-Friend, an ‘outside’ Cocker Spaniel that chocked to death on a chicken bone at some much too early age. But, despite that early tragedy, Mr. Big Prize was a dog lover. He had a breed all picked out-Border Collie- and a name ready to go –Blue. He even had a little magazine cut-out taped to his refrigerator door of just that sort of dog. Sitting obediently, blue eyes looking expectantly at some off camera master, yep, that was the Blue Mr. Big Prize wanted. But, from the very beginning of our courtship I’d pretty much been able to convince him that he needed whatever I thought he needed…whether I was right or not. So, I decided that even though he was then living in a less than 1000 square foot apartment, he needed a dog. But even I, dog behavior novice that I was, knew that a Border Collie was working dog, and those can’t be kept in a less than 1000 square foot apartment. But Mr. Big Prize loved those big blue eyes, so I found another dog with equally big, equally blue, eyes. The Husky. Yes, you may now laugh. If there is any dog on the planet LESS suited to a less than 1000 square foot apartment than the Border Collie, it’s the Husky. But, I was determined, and for those who know me, that’s a dangerous state for me to be in.
I found a copy of the Sunday paper, and a listing for a breeder only 20 minutes away who was advertising Husky pups for a low low $85.00. So, out we went, to buy ‘our’ first dog. Now, let me back-track a bit, back to that part about wanting to marry Mr. Big Prize. MBP claimed that he wanted to get married, and that he wanted that real bad. Both being of the Southern and Christian persuasions, and both being children of ministers of the latter, we weren’t the ‘moving in together’ types. Sadly, I found MBP to be a bit slow in the proposing department, and I devised a plan to speed things up a bit. It was two fold; A) get him out of that less than 1000 square foot apartment and into a bright shiny newly built home of his very own, and B) Get him a dog-one that thought of me as ‘mommy’. As a realtor at the time I had him building that house in no time flat, and I was picking out the paint colors. And so that is how/why, on that Sunday afternoon we found ourselves driving his bright red convertible to a Christmas tree farm to pick out a bright shiny new puppy too.
Blue was neither bright, nor was she shiny. That Christmas tree farm was filthy, inside and out, and the wooden deck we were shown to was covered in such layers of filth as it is impossible to describe. There they were-two little adorable wolf faced pups, but with those glowing blue eyes. One was silver, the other red. We scooped up that little silver darling, and trotted her out of that filth for a negotiated $65.00. Note: this was the first time I had seen what I now know to be MBP most embarrassing habit-dickering. But we got our ‘new baby’ for $20 off her suggested retail price, and off we went.
On the way home, in that tiny red convertible, in a pouring rainstorm, the newly Christened Blue started putting a powerful wail…and an even more powerful stink.
That dog smelled worse than anything I have ever smelled, before or since. And it didn’t go away. We got her home and dunked her immediately in bubble bath, certain her aroma was merely the effect of the squalor in which she’d been living. But no, that wasn’t it… precisely. Our beloved baby Blue had, we discovered after her cleaning, two open wounds on her rumpus. I’ll spare you the details, but those were the source of the stink. It took months to clear up those spots, and months more to clear the miasma they’d left out of that less than 1000 square foot apartment. It did, however, forcibly cement me as ‘mommy’.
Much much more to come...
Monday, May 24, 2010
My little piece of Paradise
We stumbled upon it completely by accident. We married in July, but waited to take our honeymoon until September. It was a lovely time of year, and we decided that Disney World might just be the most magical place of all to spend it. We also decided that to get there we might just drive along the coast to take in the view of the ocean as long as we possibly could. What we did not take into consideration was the extreme rural nature of some parts of Northwest Florida, and just how dark it can get in said areas. The sun set, and suddenly we were cruising down a very long and very dark stretch of two lane highway. Seriously, it was the kind of dark from which one would expect Bigfoot to emerge. It seemed like we drove for hours, and then suddenly from nowhere (literally) we found ourselves at the end of the road-and not in a metaphorical sense. We were literally at the end of the road. We found ourselves looking at a picturesque fishing village, and the most beautiful harbor I'd ever seen. To the left there was a bridge that seemed to curl into nothing, but which actually was the gateway to my paradise. For the last 12 years Mr. Big Prize and I have taken between two and three weeks of our year and spent them in our little chunk of heaven. The town itself is close to 200 years old, and it's ancient buildings are now filled with quaint boutiques whose owners love tourist dollars but resent the tourist themselves. Men who fathers and grandfathers and great-grandfathers made their living from the sea wake every morning with the dawn to gather oysters from the brackish waters of the bay. Our friend Captain Jack (yes, his name really is Jack and he really is a Captain) takes us on upriver trips to spot exotic birds and American Alligators.
Across that curling bridge is a barrier island in the Gulf of Mexico, completely devoid of high rises and drunk college students. On any given day one can spend hours relaxing on the white sands and watch the dolphins play in the surf just a few yards off the beach. Every morning the sands are littered with hundreds of exotic seashells, many of which have found there way into my home. Sea turtles have been coming to my paradise to nest for hundreds of years, and when we rise early and are lucky, we can see a "drag" where a mother turtle has lumbered onto shore to deposit her precious and endangered cargo. It really is pristine, and heavenly, and now it's in danger, and I'm livid.
Yes, I'm livid. I'm livid British Petroleum for creating a horrific situation which now puts all of that perfection in jeopardy. I'm livid at our government for allowing big oil and the big money that accompanies it to be the real power in our country. I'm livid that millions of gallons of death are pouring into the gulf on a daily basis, and no one seems to be able to stop it. And I'm livid at myself. I'm livid that for years I've talked big about alternative oils and demanding change, yet have done nothing and said nothing and expected nothing. I'm livid that men like Captain Jack, and those hardworking oystermen may now lose everything, because there is murky threat creeping toward them and there is nothing that they can do to stop it.
I just got back from my paradise, and while it remains all it has ever been I couldn't help but wonder if it was the last time I'd ever see it in that pristine state. Would those dolphin calves swimming in the surf survive the imminent threat? We didn't see any turtle drags this trip, but on our last day there a dead sea turtle washed up onshore. She was relatively young, and was perhaps returning to her home shore to make her first nest, but instead, something ended that journey too soon. Was it the oil seeping into her home, or perhaps some other man made enemy that took her life? We'll never know, and we can't save her, but we can make changes that will save the lives of the incredible and diverse life in the oceans of our world. But we have to make the changes to make that a reality. I'd say saving paradise is worth it, wouldn't you?
Across that curling bridge is a barrier island in the Gulf of Mexico, completely devoid of high rises and drunk college students. On any given day one can spend hours relaxing on the white sands and watch the dolphins play in the surf just a few yards off the beach. Every morning the sands are littered with hundreds of exotic seashells, many of which have found there way into my home. Sea turtles have been coming to my paradise to nest for hundreds of years, and when we rise early and are lucky, we can see a "drag" where a mother turtle has lumbered onto shore to deposit her precious and endangered cargo. It really is pristine, and heavenly, and now it's in danger, and I'm livid.
Yes, I'm livid. I'm livid British Petroleum for creating a horrific situation which now puts all of that perfection in jeopardy. I'm livid at our government for allowing big oil and the big money that accompanies it to be the real power in our country. I'm livid that millions of gallons of death are pouring into the gulf on a daily basis, and no one seems to be able to stop it. And I'm livid at myself. I'm livid that for years I've talked big about alternative oils and demanding change, yet have done nothing and said nothing and expected nothing. I'm livid that men like Captain Jack, and those hardworking oystermen may now lose everything, because there is murky threat creeping toward them and there is nothing that they can do to stop it.
I just got back from my paradise, and while it remains all it has ever been I couldn't help but wonder if it was the last time I'd ever see it in that pristine state. Would those dolphin calves swimming in the surf survive the imminent threat? We didn't see any turtle drags this trip, but on our last day there a dead sea turtle washed up onshore. She was relatively young, and was perhaps returning to her home shore to make her first nest, but instead, something ended that journey too soon. Was it the oil seeping into her home, or perhaps some other man made enemy that took her life? We'll never know, and we can't save her, but we can make changes that will save the lives of the incredible and diverse life in the oceans of our world. But we have to make the changes to make that a reality. I'd say saving paradise is worth it, wouldn't you?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I hate rollercoasters
There are very few things in life I don't like, and even fewer that I really really hate. That being established let it be known far and wide that I hate roller coasters. I mean I really REALLY hate them. Like so many of our human idiosyncrasies, this particular issue began in childhood. At some point very early on, and by early I mean before “your child must be this tall to ride” became law, my parents put me on a roller coaster. Even though I couldn't possibly have been more than four years old I remember the event clearly. The place was Six Flags over Texas, the offender, The Runaway Mine Train. Now, you need to know that my parents are both possessors of above average intelligence. These are people who can put together complex electronics with ease, build random things from absolutely nothing (be it in the garage or kitchen), and solve complex problems of multiple varieties. SO, it would stand to reason that these are the kind of people who would be able to add A and B together to know that something with the words "runaway" and "mine train" in the title ought not to be ridden by a four year old. Sadly, neither of these people of above average intelligence put this correlation together...and that four year old ended up on that mine train. I have very clear memories of that ride, because it apparently lasted a lifetime. I remember being jostled and bumped and slung about until I was fairly sure that my brain was left somewhere below the second drop. The ONLY thing that kept me alive through the thing was being sandwiched between two people that loved me, and who I knew would keep me safe. Once that ride was over I swore I would never ever again get on a roller coaster. This pledge lasted firmly through my adolescent years, where even the taunts of my peers couldn't tempt me on board. There was no “Laine is a chiiiicken” strong enough to budge me. I was lily-livered and proud! Wooden coasters, looping coasters, shooting coasters, coasters of any kind were RIGHT OUT. This eventually extended to thrill rides of any kind, and I lived in a state of blissful thrill ride ignorance.
Then, the odd and unusual happened. My father turned 50. I realize that in and of itself the turning of 50 by ones father is neither that odd nor that unusual. Rather, it was what he decided he enjoyed at 50 that struck my with its oddity-thrill rides! My father hadn't been a thrill rider his entire life. He swore he hated and loathed them-then, he rode one. It was actually Disney's Tower of Terror that broke the proverbial thrill ride ice. Then, it just spiraled right out of control. It was this coaster-thingy, and that twister-thingy, and this falling/screaming/think you’re dying thingy. It was INSANITY! This was apparently his version of a mid-life crisis, but it got me thinking; did I really hate coasters, or had I let one bad experience on one coaster mold my attitude about a whole industry that was really quite grand.
So, on a trip to Disney World in the summer of 2005 I put myself right back on that horse, or roller coaster, as it were. My coaster of choice? Big Thunder Mountain. I stood and watched it for quite some time, and convinced myself it wasn't that bad, and was certain that if all those 5 and 6 year olds were laughing and having fun SURELY I would too! So, I stood in line and hopped on board. All aboard!!!! GET ME OFF THIS THING...NOW!!!! That was all I could think for the 180 seconds of pure hell I endured on that machine of death. I was slung, crushed, thrown and tossed about at random. This is NOT my idea of fun!! Again, the only way I survived that ride of death was knowing my big hubby who loves me was sitting next to me, and wouldn’t let me be flung to my death. So, it’s sealed; I HATE roller coasters. Hated them at four, hate them now. I even married a man who hates roller coasters so I wouldn't have spousal pressure to contend with until death-do-us-part.
My life has been a roller coaster for the last two weeks. The ups and downs have been unbelievable and equally enjoyable as those on that long ago mine train. I have been flung, shaken, rattled and dropped. The only conciliation is that I’ve been on it with people who love me, and I know I’ll get off this puppy eventually!
Then, the odd and unusual happened. My father turned 50. I realize that in and of itself the turning of 50 by ones father is neither that odd nor that unusual. Rather, it was what he decided he enjoyed at 50 that struck my with its oddity-thrill rides! My father hadn't been a thrill rider his entire life. He swore he hated and loathed them-then, he rode one. It was actually Disney's Tower of Terror that broke the proverbial thrill ride ice. Then, it just spiraled right out of control. It was this coaster-thingy, and that twister-thingy, and this falling/screaming/think you’re dying thingy. It was INSANITY! This was apparently his version of a mid-life crisis, but it got me thinking; did I really hate coasters, or had I let one bad experience on one coaster mold my attitude about a whole industry that was really quite grand.
So, on a trip to Disney World in the summer of 2005 I put myself right back on that horse, or roller coaster, as it were. My coaster of choice? Big Thunder Mountain. I stood and watched it for quite some time, and convinced myself it wasn't that bad, and was certain that if all those 5 and 6 year olds were laughing and having fun SURELY I would too! So, I stood in line and hopped on board. All aboard!!!! GET ME OFF THIS THING...NOW!!!! That was all I could think for the 180 seconds of pure hell I endured on that machine of death. I was slung, crushed, thrown and tossed about at random. This is NOT my idea of fun!! Again, the only way I survived that ride of death was knowing my big hubby who loves me was sitting next to me, and wouldn’t let me be flung to my death. So, it’s sealed; I HATE roller coasters. Hated them at four, hate them now. I even married a man who hates roller coasters so I wouldn't have spousal pressure to contend with until death-do-us-part.
My life has been a roller coaster for the last two weeks. The ups and downs have been unbelievable and equally enjoyable as those on that long ago mine train. I have been flung, shaken, rattled and dropped. The only conciliation is that I’ve been on it with people who love me, and I know I’ll get off this puppy eventually!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Some Enchanted Evening
I'll never forget the first time I saw him. Cheesy as it may sound, we first met online. He wasn't my normal type at all; no, as you all know by now I'm a "tall, blond and handsome" type. From Luke Skywalker, to Stormy Cowitt as Prince Charming in the Stroud High School play, all the way down to Mr. Big Prize-I love me some tall blonds. But not this time, oh no, this time I fell head over heals in love with a red-head, and nothing could have been further from the norm. There was something special about this man, with his red scruffy hair giving him a 'devil may care' look. His body was lean, and his legs just a bit too long, both speaking of a rough life filled with hard knocks. He had golden brown eyes that spoke of warm nights spent snuggling at home, or out on some reckless adventure that only a bad boy like he could really talk me into. We arranged a meeting, at his ranch no less. As I pulled down the long drive up to his barn I could see him, regarding me with a guarded but hopeful gaze. It was a cold, grey, windy day, but nothing could keep me from meeting this enigmatic soul who had captured my heart before we'd exchanged our first kiss. Finally, my car rolled to a stop and I exited and began striding toward him, heart beating wildly. Finally I reached his side, and he greeted me by promptly rolling over and offering me his belly to scratch. What else can a man do when tethered to a tire?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the man who stole my heart from Mr. Big Prize, Atticus Finch:
Seriously, can you blame me for sleeping with him the very night we met???
In all seriousness, Atticus is the newest member of the Berry clan, and Mr.Big Prize is just as head over heels as I am. He's a precious boy, who really had a rough start of it, but thanks to the GREAT people at JP Ranch and Rescue in Atkins Arkansas got a second chance at life. Peggy and Jimmy Kirby are to heroes in my book, who have dedicated their lives to saving the lives of animals.They are the kind of people I want to be when I grow up. Surrenders and strays have food, shelter and someone to care for them until they find a forever home.
Peggy and Jimmy need your help. They lost everything they own in the tornado that hit their once beautiful ranch in 2008. Since then they have spent nearly every penny of their insurance money providing food, shelter and medical care for the average 100+ animals in their care. You can see photos of just how much that tornado took from them at www.jpranchandrescue.org. Beyond that, Peggy has been diagnosed with cancer-but still she works day in and day out providing love and care for those less fortunate. Hundreds of dogs and cats who would have otherwise been euthenized are saved and adopted into loving homes thanks to Peggy's huge heart and dedication.
Won't you stop by www.jpranchandrescue.org and donate to their cause? You have no idea how much they need your help. And you never know, you might just meet the man of your dreams there too...
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the man who stole my heart from Mr. Big Prize, Atticus Finch:
Seriously, can you blame me for sleeping with him the very night we met???
In all seriousness, Atticus is the newest member of the Berry clan, and Mr.Big Prize is just as head over heels as I am. He's a precious boy, who really had a rough start of it, but thanks to the GREAT people at JP Ranch and Rescue in Atkins Arkansas got a second chance at life. Peggy and Jimmy Kirby are to heroes in my book, who have dedicated their lives to saving the lives of animals.They are the kind of people I want to be when I grow up. Surrenders and strays have food, shelter and someone to care for them until they find a forever home.
Peggy and Jimmy need your help. They lost everything they own in the tornado that hit their once beautiful ranch in 2008. Since then they have spent nearly every penny of their insurance money providing food, shelter and medical care for the average 100+ animals in their care. You can see photos of just how much that tornado took from them at www.jpranchandrescue.org. Beyond that, Peggy has been diagnosed with cancer-but still she works day in and day out providing love and care for those less fortunate. Hundreds of dogs and cats who would have otherwise been euthenized are saved and adopted into loving homes thanks to Peggy's huge heart and dedication.
Won't you stop by www.jpranchandrescue.org and donate to their cause? You have no idea how much they need your help. And you never know, you might just meet the man of your dreams there too...
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Ahhhh, the Harbinger of Spring
It is coming, my long awaited spring. I know it is almost here, because the harbinger with which it is most associated in my psyche has made it's arrival. The tulips, you suggest? Oh no. The jonquils, hyacinths and first buds of hydrangea? Indeed not, simple reader. My Harbinger of Spring made it's first visit to my Small Southern Town just last night, and brought with it the herald of a new season. What is my Harbinger, you ask? Why, it's the Tornado Siren, of course. Ah yes, that most trusted of forecasters, wisest of prognosticators, most trustworthy of oracles, the Tornado Siren sings it's Siren's song to welcome us into the into this, the most beautiful and deadly of seasons. You see, gentle reader, my Small Southern Town is located in what is referred to in meteorological circles as "Tornado Alley". The denizens of storm chasing have christened our little strip of middle America with this moniker for good reason. In 2008 alone there were approximately 84 tornadoes that touched down in the state of Arkansas, and so for each of those you can guarantee that there were another 2 or 3 dozens times that those tornado sirens sang their song in the fear that there MIGHT be a tornado SOMEWHERE that could POSSIBLY touch down. Now please, gentle reader, do not get me wrong. I do not begrudge the sounding of the siren, I simply feel that with all of our 4warn Doppler/live scan/sky cat/etc etc etc radar technology, we may have become a bit trigger happy with the siren. But I digress. Those sirens are meant to make us aware of impending danger, and to take shelter-not run out with out dukes up, right?
It is important that you understand that I actually grew up in Oklahoma. There are three things that Oklahoma has in abundance; cows, red dirt, and tornadoes. My formative springs were spent huddled in front the magic talking box, watching the Guru of all things falling from the sky, Gary England. For those of you who aren't familiar with Mr. England, he is the equivalent of a rock star in weather man land. If Gary England tells you to take some sort of action doing an Oklahoma storm, you take it. I swear Mr. England could instruct the citizens of the state to go out and throw eggs at the sky, and they'd be out in droves. He's something of a storm demigod, and his word is simply not to be doubted. So, we Okie's all knew that spring had officially arrived in our fair state when the sirens started singing, Mr. England was constantly breaking into our regularly scheduled pro gaming, and the men of the town took to their front porches to see if they cold actually see the things coming. That is the appropriate response to a warning siren, is it not? To run to the exterior of your home to see if you can ascertain from which direction death is stalking you?? *SIGH*
These occasions were met with quiet calm by my mother. Knowing her well as an adult I realize she was probably taking breaks every few minutes to run to the bathroom to vomit in panic, but on the face of it she was cool as a cucumber. I looked to her for my cues to take cover, but in the meantime I had some preparation of my own to attend to. I new one truth about tornadoes that terrified me; they took all your stuff. So, each time those sirens sounded I'd go quickly to my bedroom and gather together my most prizes earthly goods. I'd take my new The Fox and The Hound lunchbox, and fill it with my treasures. Always included were my lace covered Bible, courtesy of my aunt and uncles wedding, my ceramic mouse sporting a jaunty chapeau, a small collection of fossils which had been carefully dug from the Stroud Elementary School playground, and my Star Wars trading cards. These are the things I wanted to make certain I had with me in the event that A) I was blown completely out of Kansas, or B) I lost all my other worldly goods. Who needs clothes when you have Luke Skywalker, right? I don't actually remember taking real cover more than once or twice, but those dang sirens burned their sound into my brain as an integral part of the beginning of this season.
So, Spring is officially here in my mind, although she's still 10 days away by the rules of the equinox. It's really almost time to bust out my gardening gloves, to dig in the earth and to welcome back the sun and warmth of my favorite time of the year. But all good things have balance, do they not? Would we treasure our spring blossoms as deeply if there wasn't the slightest threat they'd be torn from the vine by winds, or nipped in the bud with frost? That is what makes life both beautiful and ugly, a joy and a challenge. Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people, and we are left with the eternal question of "why". But it's when those blossoms spring to life, live out their beauty, and fade back to dust that we get to enjoy the true fullness and wonder of life. It's the times when the deserving soul is rewarded that we experience a triumph of sorts. Life is full of little Springs, each with their good and bad. You can guarantee I'll enjoy each minute of it, but I'm keeping my eyes on the sky and my ears peeled for that siren. In the end, wouldn't it be fabulous if sirens warned us about all the stuff that could ruin our lives??
It is important that you understand that I actually grew up in Oklahoma. There are three things that Oklahoma has in abundance; cows, red dirt, and tornadoes. My formative springs were spent huddled in front the magic talking box, watching the Guru of all things falling from the sky, Gary England. For those of you who aren't familiar with Mr. England, he is the equivalent of a rock star in weather man land. If Gary England tells you to take some sort of action doing an Oklahoma storm, you take it. I swear Mr. England could instruct the citizens of the state to go out and throw eggs at the sky, and they'd be out in droves. He's something of a storm demigod, and his word is simply not to be doubted. So, we Okie's all knew that spring had officially arrived in our fair state when the sirens started singing, Mr. England was constantly breaking into our regularly scheduled pro gaming, and the men of the town took to their front porches to see if they cold actually see the things coming. That is the appropriate response to a warning siren, is it not? To run to the exterior of your home to see if you can ascertain from which direction death is stalking you?? *SIGH*
These occasions were met with quiet calm by my mother. Knowing her well as an adult I realize she was probably taking breaks every few minutes to run to the bathroom to vomit in panic, but on the face of it she was cool as a cucumber. I looked to her for my cues to take cover, but in the meantime I had some preparation of my own to attend to. I new one truth about tornadoes that terrified me; they took all your stuff. So, each time those sirens sounded I'd go quickly to my bedroom and gather together my most prizes earthly goods. I'd take my new The Fox and The Hound lunchbox, and fill it with my treasures. Always included were my lace covered Bible, courtesy of my aunt and uncles wedding, my ceramic mouse sporting a jaunty chapeau, a small collection of fossils which had been carefully dug from the Stroud Elementary School playground, and my Star Wars trading cards. These are the things I wanted to make certain I had with me in the event that A) I was blown completely out of Kansas, or B) I lost all my other worldly goods. Who needs clothes when you have Luke Skywalker, right? I don't actually remember taking real cover more than once or twice, but those dang sirens burned their sound into my brain as an integral part of the beginning of this season.
So, Spring is officially here in my mind, although she's still 10 days away by the rules of the equinox. It's really almost time to bust out my gardening gloves, to dig in the earth and to welcome back the sun and warmth of my favorite time of the year. But all good things have balance, do they not? Would we treasure our spring blossoms as deeply if there wasn't the slightest threat they'd be torn from the vine by winds, or nipped in the bud with frost? That is what makes life both beautiful and ugly, a joy and a challenge. Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people, and we are left with the eternal question of "why". But it's when those blossoms spring to life, live out their beauty, and fade back to dust that we get to enjoy the true fullness and wonder of life. It's the times when the deserving soul is rewarded that we experience a triumph of sorts. Life is full of little Springs, each with their good and bad. You can guarantee I'll enjoy each minute of it, but I'm keeping my eyes on the sky and my ears peeled for that siren. In the end, wouldn't it be fabulous if sirens warned us about all the stuff that could ruin our lives??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
